I didn´t even make one day! It´s bad enough the weekends being my downfall, but starting on the blooming Monday?!
Again during the day I was OK. I wanted to do Tabata in the evening, but when hubby came home, I was starving. I knew that I can´t do heavy excercise after a big meal, so I said I´d go this morning instead.
The dinner was healthy, too. Wholeweat pasta with tuna, broccoli and mushrooms. But then.... A WW bar, WW ice-cream, winegum and then I just got the chocolate spread and the peanutbutter and dunked my biscuits in it. I don´t even attempt to estimate the points. Oh, did I mention the bottle of red?? On a Monday!!!! Looking in the mirror I just see an alcoholic binging pig! I can´t put into words how pissed off I am with myself (excuse my language, but in my head I´m using worse, believe me!) I´m fed up with it!
I hate going to the meetings and hearing about so many people doing so well. The only good thing I´ve got to say every week, is that I´m excersing well. But could you imagine how much I´d have to excercise to train all that rubbish off? I´d have to give up sleeping!
I keep telling myself: "Just do it for crying out loud!" But the problem´s not the doing it, it´s the 'don´t do it'. Don´t put another biscuit in your mouth, don´t fill your glass up again, don´t open the jelly beans.
I always had a problem with saying 'no'. It´s bad enough, that I can´t say it to others, but not even to myself?
This just has to stop, but I just don´t know how to? My leader at WW is no help, whatsoever. She never makes time for indivuals. She has her notes, she´s got to cover. If you actually say something, you can see her getting impatient quickly.
I had a few leaders over the years, and they were all pretty much the same. Everytime I think: "My god, you gave us the leaflet, which got everything you´re just telling us in it. I can read!" But I still stay, and everytime I go out again with the best intentions.
But I just don´t want to give up! If I cancelled the membership now, I know it would just be unfinished business and I would not be happy.
If I could just manage one full week! One blooming week of staying within my points. Starting again today.........