Thursday, 24 June 2010

The early morning picture!

Here it is. That´s me in all my morning glory. What can I say? Hm, sorry??

For everyone who hasn´t closed the the frame straight away, I can tell that I´ve tracked for 4 full days and haven´t gone over my allowance once! And I feel really good for it. For how things have been going recently, this by itself is a mega achievement, because it shows that there´s still something left in me, and that I´m not ready to give up.

I have to realize that this is for life and not just to lose a few pounds. I want to live healthily and not constantly shock my body with stupid amounts of sugar. One of the main changes I made in this week was leaving the alcohol (well, I had 2 Malibu´s and diet cokes with the football/soccer yesterday...COME ON GERMANY!...sorry, had to say that), but leaving the wine, which crept in almost daily recently. Not in large amounts, but still absolutely unnecessary. And I cut down on the treats. I still have my WW ice-cream every night, though.

So I hope with this determination and with all the excercise, that the few pounds (and it´s really only a few) will go rather quickly. I know, that it´s very likely that it won´t go that smoothly, but I don´t want to think like that, because I easily get into this negative mindframe and I want to believe in myself for a change!

So, Here´s to positive thinking!


Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Fresh spirits

So I´m back on track. On the weekend I got out my old journals from when I first joined WW in 2005 and it really gave me a boost. I want to finish this, I WON´T GIVE UP! The thought of saying "I´m happy now" is just a foul compromise.

And if I´m really going for becoming a personal trainer, I want to live it. I couldn´t be a convincing advisor, if I didn´t do the best myself. I´m still not absolutely sure, if I´ll really go for it, but it´s still on my mind.

My next step would be to speak to the boss of the fitness centre, if I could train as a fitness instructor there, but at the moment I just don´t have the confidence for it quite yet. The thought of rejection is too daunting. I always struggled with low self esteem. In my head I´m not fit enough, still too big and of course too old. Although the age thing is not even the worst, because there´s nothing I can do about that.

I know you shouldn´t think "Once I´m thinner I´ll do this or the other", but in this case the body image is a very big factor, so I´ll have to lose a bit more, just to better my chances.

So give me a few weeks of sticking to the regime and I´ll make my move....

I already got a hurdle in my way, with two kiddies birtdays on the weekend. On the first there will be a buffet with lots of unhealthy nibbles, and the other will be a BBQ with alcohol. I will try to book a few points, eat before the first to absolutely ignore the buffet, because if I start I won´t stop. For the BBQ I promised to prepare some Feta cheese, so I can control the points for that and stick with the chicken. Being a kid´s birthday the alcohol flow won´t be that bad anyway. And of course exercise, exercise, exercise. I´ll try body combat tonight, although I know it might be a bad idea. Just walking into town was annoyingly achy. But I won´t do the jumps and try to be extra light on my feet, when it comes to the shuffles.

I´m just sick and tired of doing the same stuff over and over again, but giving it a complete break is simply out of question.

I feel more detemined that I have in a long time. And that is a d*** good feeling.
Long may it continue.

Oh, and I still haven´t published my early morning picture. It´s coming. Promised!!!


Sunday, 20 June 2010

Still kicking

I´ve been absent for a bit. Reason for that for once were my visitors from Germany. I told you, that I was a bit worried about it, but my friend and I had a fantastic time! Unfortunately, the fella she brought over was a complete honk, and we had to get rid of him for the last three nights :-)

Then I was without a husband for three days, because he was driving his brother and two mates, who were doing the 3-Peak-Walk (walking up the three highest mountains in Scotland, England and Wales in 24 hours). They did it in 22.5 hours. Well done guys!!!!

No need to say that in the week, when my friends were here, there was no control of food intake whatsoever. Nor of the alcohol intake. I basically was hungover for a complete week. I still did my workouts, though.

And it hurts me to say that it didn´t get much better, after they left. But I am determined that that has to change from right now!!!!

You know that I was struggling with the decision, wether to go on or not, and I decided I WILL! By the way, have you seen the pictures of Bitch Cakes in her bikini? OMG! I want a belly like that! I wouldn´t mind a waist like that either, but I´m just not built like that.

So, I´ll get my tracker out and go back to healthy eating.

I couldn´t do any running or jumping (I´m sick of the cross-trainer, bike, rowing machine etc. I love running!) for good six weeks, because I still got a problem with my hip. No need to say that my trainer still found lots of hurtful stuff for me to do! Thursday I finally went to the doctor and had it X-rayed. Once the results are there, I´ll see the physios and an orthopedic. I´m happy about that, because my left leg´s constantly giving me problems. It´s time to sort it out, because my friends and I are thinking of running a few more races. We got the 5k in July (which I will run, even if I have to hobble all the way). Then we´re thinking about running a 10k in September and train up for a half marathon next year. My doctor doesn´t have any concerns about that, as soon as my hip´s sorted out.

I will now cook my lovely husband a breakfast (being Father´s Day) and then hit the gym before we take the kids out in this lovely weather. And I will track!!! I´m not sure, if I´ll make it to WI today, but I´ll try. Not excited to see the number, but I think it has to be done.

If I make it, I might even stay to have a one-to-one chat with the leader, in hope she can help me getting my head in the right frame of mind!

Great being back!

Have a lovely Sunday everyone!