Like a scratched record

The best intentions and guess what: Absolutely nothing bloody changed. I still give into every little craving I get. And there are soooo many of them.

I couldn´t make it to my WI on Sunday, because I had to go to work. Last match of the season! Yippie! The players went straight into their holidays afterwards. I tried not to think of all the fancy places, they would go to. We pretty much decided yesterday that we wouldn´t go to Germany this year, but go to Wales with Jock´s brother and family. Not fancy either, but at least a 'normal' holiday. When we go to Germany, of course we have to meet up with everyone. So it always turns out to be stressy.

So anyway, I didn´t make it to WI. I jumped on the scales this morning and was not surprised to see that I was another 2 pounds up. Although I have to mention that totm´s coming up. But I don´t like to use that as an excuse, because I know, if I´m good, I still manage to lose a bit or at least stay the same. But 'good' wouldn´t be the word of choice about how I´ve done. 'Dreadful', 'pathetic', 'idiotic' rather jumps in mind. At least I´m still sporting it loads. After the sight on the scales I put my training gear on straight away and went running right after I dropped kids off. Managed to do a bit longer again. Didn´t measure it, but must have been about 5.5 or 6 miles. Don´t want to think about, what scales would say, if I didn´t work out. Oh god, better not!!

So AGAIN best intentions, have been tracking and 'good' so far. I have my next training session on Friday morning, and it´s weighing time again. I just can´t step on them being this heavy. I couldn´t bear his look. There´s no chance I´ll get it all off till then, but some of it has to come off. There I can use totm as an excuse and might even get a little blush as a bonus. I mean how embarrasing to tell this 22 year old boy: "Sorry, but I´ve got my period at the moment." Oh god, just let me die!

I might put in another combat session tonight. I have to get some off. I just have to!