Still here

I haven´t written for a few days, because I just wanted to spare you from the same blabbering over and over again. Although I was really angry with myself, I just wasn´t able to turn it around. Going on the scales with James showed exactly that. But it looks like I needed that. I feel a bit better.

I think it also has something to do with the hormones going back to normal. Thinking about it, I´m going through that most months. This time it was just so much worse, because it had been going on for so long already.

So I was good on Friday. Saturday I had everything planned. I had a lovely run with my friend in the woods. Because we always get lost we ran for 55min. I´m dead proud of my mate, because she doesn´t train nearly as much as I do, but she managed to run most of it. Afterwards we had a coffee and a little chat. But when I came home, I came into the house of grumbles. My beloved husband was in a right mood, because the kids had been naughty. I tried to cheer him up doing a cooked breakfast for lunch, but it didn´t really work. He took the kids shopping while I did the ironing (oh glorious life!!!) and brought back pizza and wine. I was a bit peed off, because he knew that I´ve planned and I simply had enough of his mood, because I got the: "You were out all morning!"

That was quite hurtful, because my sports is the only hobby I´ve got. I know it became much more (I´m exercising 5 or 6 days now. Once with the PT and the other days running or classes), but it never is super long, and most of the time it´s in the mornings, when both kids are gone. When I tell him about my training sessions he just shuts down. I think it´s a mixture between the fact that I´m mentioning a bloke a lot and the fact that he feels a bit insecure about not being able to keep up with me. I was thinking about it. If he had a female trainer and would tell the same stories about his sessions, I might feel a bit insecure myself. So I just decided, I won´t tell him about it anymore. It´s a bit sad, because I would like to share, what I´m so proud about, but I neither want to hurt nor to bore him.

The only person who I don´t bore to death with these stories is my mate, who´s training with him to.

By the way my record in the squad-uphill-run-challenge is still unbeaten. One girl matched it, but none of the blokes could do it. And there were more Navy guys. Amazing!!!

Oh, my trainer gave me the tip to put chocolate bars in the freezer and break it into tiny pieces and only to have a bit, when I feel like it. Of course just having one piece doesn´t work for me (he really doesn´t know me!), but I tried it yesterday with one of the WW bars, and I was very happy with just one bar (which is good for me). So I managed to stay under my points yesterday. That´s twice in 3 days. For all of you, who do that week after week, might think: "How sad is that?", but after these weeks and weeks of binging, it brings my spirits up.

Tabata tonight and then Supernatural in bed (at least no nibbling there....sweets I mean). We bought the DVD´s. Honey can be happy that none of those is not my trainer, because with one of them I might put the thought of a toy boy into consideration....Yum!

Have a good week everyone (mine might even be)

X X