I´ve just uploaded a few pictures and I have to say it put quite a few things into perspective.
When I started WW for the first time five years ago (god, doesn´t time just fly by???????) I lost 1 1/2st. I didn´t reach my goal weight, which would have been about just under a stone, because we moved to England, but I managed to maintain that weight quite well. Always when the pounds crept back on, I tracked again for a bit and managed to stay within that weight. It helped a lot that exercise always stayed a part of my life. So I was in a healthy weight range for most of the time, if not, just slightly overweighed.
Even when I had my daughter and put on quite a bit again, I managed to loose it, without attending any meeting. So just for that I can give myself quite a big pat on my back!
But all the time it still felt like I haven´t finished. My willpower wasn´t enough to go this little bit further. In 2008 I decided to finish it off. My start weight then was 11st3 and I managed to go down to 10.8 1/2 in 6 weeks. And then I had two bad weeks and that was enough for me to pack it in again. I mean HOW PATHETIC! But again I didn´t do too bad afterwards, because when I went back to WW again about a year later I weighed in with 11st5 1/2. That was last August. This time I didn´t do very well. In November my total loss was 2.5lbs. The highest loss I had that go was 7lbs. Frustrated with my lack of determination I decided to leave it over the christmas time. But I kept my monthly pass and right after christmas I started again. This time I weighed in 11st8. Again a bit more.
And I know now, this time I will go to the end. I don´t even really know, what weight this will be. It´s the thigh-stomach area, I´m least happy with. Well and I hate my boobs. I wish it would only be a pencil that you could stick under them. You can fit a whole pencil case with crayons and pencils in 8 colours, rubber, calculator and the lot under mine! But after breastfeeding two kids (not that I was too impressed with them before) nothing to be done there apart from serious surgery!
Thinking about it, there´s only one part of my body I´m happy with and that´s my arms. They are quite toned. That´s combat for you!
Anyway, there´s one big difference this time. I started this blog. I´m reading all these amazing stories. They make me laugh, sympathize or sometimes just leave me in awe. And most of all, I don´t feel alone with my struggles. Okay, there are the meetings and I like them, but when I´m really struggling, a 'You-should-do-that' just doesn´t help. I know the theory, but sometimes I just can´t do it.
I know this is not the most exiting blog. I doubt that I would be a much better writer in my own language. I only have 3 followers (I love you guys and thank you for your lovely comments!) and it might never be more, but I will keep doing this, because it does me the world of good.
It made me giving up the guilt about bad days. That only leads to prolonging the badness. Yesterday I went 13 points over my daily limit. I worked at the football and the stupid Albions managed to go into extra time (first peace of cake plus sandwich). About 11.30pm I was still not finished (2nd piece of cake). Coming home about 12.30am I can´t just go to sleep, so I had two glasses of wine and another chocolate bar. But so what? It was a heavy day, with lots of running around, I worked out Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday and I had some banked points (were actually for Saturday, but well...). Absolutely no reason whatsoever to go over my points again today.
So enough blabbering. Will go on the hunt for the blooming cable to get more pictures from the camera on here so that the newest picture is not already 8 months old.