Has it really been that long??????????????

OMG! It really doesn´t feel like it, but the last time I blogged it was summer!

And I just saw that I received an award! Thank you so much, but I really don´t think I deserve it. I haven´t been doing well at all!

I caught up on a few blogs and it´s lovely to read that you´re all still there and going. I had to take a break, because the more I stressed about the food, the binge attacks got worse. At the moment I´m not tracking or counting points. The only thing I´m doing is upping my excercise again.

I was struggling with injuries for the wole year. I finally managed to get rid of the bursitis. The steroid injection didn´t work, but I´ve been seing a sports therapist (my Mr. MagicHands) and it was finally gone. But silly buddy me, didn´t give it enough time and after my first longer run outside I thought it would be a great idea to finish with a sprint....bad, bad, bad idea. Torn fibres in the thigh. Ouch and another 6 weeks recovery. But I like to think that I learned my lesson now and I work on building up the muscles again and listen, when my body says, it´s enough for now.

Even my trainer goes a bit easier on me at the moment, which is so not like him. So New Year resolution: Get old fitness back without making more damage.

It´s the big 4 0 for me this month and my lovely husbands wants to build me my own little gym at the bottom of the garden! How cool is that?? I already ordered a treadmill, a bike/crosstrainer, a step and bought weights, a gym ball and boxing gloves and pads, although he hasn´t even started building yet. It´ll all have to live in the dining room for now. Will hopefully be an inspiration for him to get started soon. :-)

At the moment you see so many weight loss programs on TV. And one big part is always the mental issue. Yesterday evening I sat on the couch and wrote down a few of mine, which I won´t bore you with. But all in all I got a very poor opinion about myself, which I know is not healthy. Even if I want to say something good about myself, it always comes with a big 'BUT'. Blowing my own trumpet just makes me cringe. I know that it is very possible that the reason behind that is, that my parents were not big friends of praising. But it makes sense that the reason behind my evening binge sessions are, that when it´s time to calm down, I just feel like a failure and try to numb that feeling with food.

Result: officially overweight again.

But I´m still not ready to give up. Plan for now: no food after 7pm (started yesterday), lots of excercise and working on my self-esteem.

So every evening now, instead of concentrating on all the things I didn´t manage to do that day, I will write down, what I did manage and what I did well.

Sounds good eh?

Hope you forgive me for making myself so rare. I will be back!

Have a good week
XX