First of all I want to thank you again for your comments. I really needed them. If somebody else would put themselves down so much, I probably would give them a slap!
You are so right that is about time that I give myself some slack. This post will be about the things that I do well!
Immediately there´s a big BUT building up in my brain, but this time I won´t let it.
First of all, having this constant bad concious that I´m not good enough as a mother. I´ve got two absolutely brilliant kids. Here they are:
Aren´t they gorgeous???
They are both extremely loving, funny and smart. Most of all they are happy! They are growing up in a loving environment and we try to do lots of things with them. We don´t have lots of money, but we do our best that they still experience things. They both have swimming lessons, Kenny played football, but I will put him in the school session (it´s free and the other was too full. He´s very shy) and Amber just started horse riding lessons. She loves it and I had one, too! My sister in law gave it to me for my birthday. I will take some more, when the money´s there. I used to ride a lot, when I was younger. We might not be able to afford big outings all the while, but we take them out into the nature or meet up with friends.
And thinking again about being a bad role model... I show my kids to be active and to excercise. They always say: "Mommy, we´re doing sports!"
Jock and I show them a loving relationship and trust, while still having a giggle.
I chose to be with my kids, as long as they are little, but I´m not just sitting there, expecting hubby to do the providing all by himself. So I try to help as much as I can. I still work at the football and look after the German customers for two companies by now. And by the way, I´m pretty damned good at all of that as well.
And coming to my weightloss journey. Okay, I lost my way a little bit, BUT although I put on quite a bit again, I´m still nowhere near where I used to be and I know for a fact, that I won´t go there again. Why? Because there are some changes that are simply not reversable. First of all my love for excercise.
Even when I have draw backs through injury, I will never give up. I´m working very hard to get my strength back. I just finished my longest run post injury run of 5 miles.
And I will keep on working on it, because that is, when I feel my strongest. Two of my friends and I will have our weekly outdoor runs again. There are already two 10k´s planned (one of them a mud race - Yippie - not).
And so what, if I don´t have right frame of mind at the moment to be in control of my entire food intake. Big parts changed for good as well. I only have to get my evening munches under control. Putting my mind at ease will be a big help! Maybe it really has to wait, till my daughter goes to school in September and I´ll have a bit more time for myself. I´m gonna treat myself for this time and won´t go for more work straight away. I deserve it to concentrate on myself for a bit. I will still try everyday to make good choices, but I will give myself the time to get my mind right. I will get there again! Anything else is not an option!
Wow, this does feel better. I listen to people blowing their own trumpet so many times, and I just think: "Good for you!" So time to say: "Good for me!"
Have a good weekend everyone